How dare you become a Rabbi???

If you want to see what G-d thinks of money, just look at all of the people He gave it to. - Dorothy Parker

One thing that stuck with me from previous conversations was this concept of "haves" and "have nots". In our community, we break it down into probably four categories:

"Winthrops" - Seen as the overlords of the Jewish community, these rich people have always worked extremely hard to be successful in their careers, got a lot of luck and made it work for them, and are significant financial and nonfinancial contributors to both the Jewish community and the legacy BC schools in particular. In many cases, these Winthrops don't even have children in the schools anymore, but that doesn't matter... it is still permissible to blame them for all of the schools' failings, especially tuition costs.

"Chumps" - Those bemoaning the fact that they are firmly stuck in the middle class. They're not wealthy enough to own mansions and not poor enough to receive scholarships. Chumps work hard alright, and they don't get to spend enough time with their families. At the root of it, all of the Chumps are mostly hardworking, selfless people who just want an equitable stake in their schools and in their communities at large. Well, all of the Chumps except for that one guy who always complains about shuls that gives aliyot to jacket-wearing child molesters and ex-cons. I'm not sure whether to give him his own category or not. Let's leave him here for now.

"Strugglers" - Maybe a newly defined term for many of you, but sadly, this is a growing percentage of the community. I personally fit into this category, but I can tell you that there are a variety of unique stories of people that fit under this umbrella. The common thread amongst Strugglers is that we're all on the schools' scholarship lists. Biggest complaint about Strugglers? We don't sacrifice everything in life before asking for a scholarship. In fact, we drive relatively new cars and minivans, leased or financed underwritten by Chumps and Winthrops bloated tuition bills. We eat name-brand food, meat and chicken instead of canned fish, and we dare take our children on vacations.

"The Helpless" - We'll coin a new term here to describe all those of you who went into careers where you knew that you had no chance of supporting yourself and knew that you were going to have to rely on scholarship and other help.

I think the initial rage has been from the Chumps to the Helpless and less so to the Strugglers. There have been many arguments, including "move out of BC, drive a cheaper car, stop having kids, drop dead, and go to public school or JFS". .But here's my personal favorite point from the Chumps:  <b>If the Chump argument is that anyone who willingly went into the Helpless category (i.e. Rebbes, or anyone who went into psychology/sociology/social work/etc) is an idiot and should not have gone into this line of work, well then... we'd probably not have many rebbes. </b>Or said another way, we'd be forced to take more of those "coming out of Lakewood, Monsey, or Passaic" black hat rabbeim that everyone seems to ridicule. (I personally have always been happy with the quality of Rabbeim in my children's experiences, whether it was a black hat rebbe or not). Also, we have to allow for the fact that many people just don't have the "head" to go into medicine, law, or business, probably the three most economically viable areas. Are these Helpless folk still working hard, maybe running a business or something similar? Yes, they're putting in the time and effort to make as much as they can, but it's not enough. Chumps want them out of the community, ASAP. Well, that's certainly the "Midas HaDin" perspective, not the "Midas HaRachamim" perspective.

I think it's arguable that there's a benefit to keeping Strugglers in the community. They can turn into Chumps in the near-term, or maybe they used to be? I don't think we've really determined the financial impact of keeping Strugglers in the school, but they're paying $8-10K per child instead of $15K, they might still have contributed enough that it's worth keeping them in the school. (every dollar helps.) Smaller classes, smaller schools don't help pay off the mortgages. But what about the Helpless? They have no chance. They seem to have twice as many kids as Chumps. They are frequently seen having coffee with Nancy Pelosi. I mean, they're clearly evil. What do we do about them?
How can a Jewish neighborhood claim to be so supportive of core Jewish values and yet not understand how these people are deserving of being in our community?

I'm not saying that we should give them a pass on this... they should have a better understanding of the financial situation they're in. I'd love it if they stayed in that little apartment with 12 kids until they could afford a house, but that ship has already sailed.

The real answer to the question above is that the community at large is supportive. People do support each other, but there's a smaller group of people who are complaining and don't want to follow the communal lead. For the record, I respect that view as well. You ought to be able to do whatever you want with your money... and to the best of my knowledge, you can. You can pay $8,000 to send your kids to JFS. You can send them to public school. You can refuse to give tzedaka to anyone if you don't know how they spend their money Or you can send them to a legacy school and pay full tuition. <i> Ah, but what you want to do most of all... alas, you can't do, and that is to tell the legacy schools how much to charge you for tuition.</i> That option is not available. The yeshiva has made a tuition determination via a likely painstaking process, identifying the best way to maximize their income effectively and efficiently. And that involves Chumps paying $15K. The only way to "beat them at their own game" is to choose one of the other options available to you. The yeshiva then chooses to give a scholarship; we'll assume that it's partially out of kindness, but partially out of understanding that getting 1/2 tuition from the 20th kid in the class is better than having a class of 19 kids and not getting anything from the 20th kid. But none of that altriusm came from the Chumps. You don't get credit for the tzedaka, especially if they had to rip it from your cold, ungiving fingers.

I heard a while back that a yeshiva (or two or three?) tried a different model to put some money back in the Chumps' pockets. Tuition was set at the actual "cost" for educating the child, with the incremental amount considered an optional donation. This had something to do with the tax rules saying that only if it was optional could a family deduct tuition. Well, I heard that participation was extremely low. In our example and if we applied this to 2011-2012 tuition, if your current tuition is $15K and next year tuition was $10K and the "optional" amount was $5K, then you could deduct the $5K from your taxes. The school would still get $15K, but the US government would give you an exemption for the $5K. Tax rates are what, 25-30%? That's around $1,500 back in your pocket. Sounds like a great option, everyone wins (except for the government, but hey, that's life, right?)

Participation in the "optional amount" was sparse. The schools lost a tremendous amount of tuition money by making that last $5K optional, and sure enough, the program died soon after. So there went the opportunity, Chumps... a win-win for both sides blew up in the schools' face, and now? We're back to the age of full tuitions and no tax exemptions.

What's the bottom line? I think it's that we still don't have an appreciation for the different arguments/positions on each side. Chumps don't understand why the Strugglers and Helpless won't get out of BC. Strugglers don't understand why people don't think they're paying their way. Helpless don't understand why people wouldn't want to help them.

But I will say this... we definitely do not put the best face on our community when we argue amongst ourselves. Let's see if we can all continue to argue our points to the best we can, while still showing humility and appreciation for what Hashem has given us and showing sympathy for those who aren't as blessed.

Cutting Costs: Just for the "rich chumps"???

It has been theorized by the "masses" that the tuition structure suffers from the following catch-22.. <b> There is no groundswell of populist demand to reduce tuition because....</b>

A. Rich people are rich, so they can afford any tuition amount anyway. In that case, they prefer that the school have all of the bells and whistles to better their children's lives.
B. Poor people are on scholarship anyway, so the amount that they pay is fixed. Tuition could double, they'll still be at their fixed, too low rate.
C. Only the "chumps" care about tuition, because they're the only idiots who pay tuition, even though they can't afford it.

Not sure what to make of this argument... it appears accurate on its face, doesn't it? It's the classic middle class squeeze, and a popular argument in comparing our schools to our governments. But it's more than just that ... it focuses on the itch in everyone's brain that is just waiting to be scratched: the "Us against Them" mentality. People love to believe that the world is out to get them. The government is wiretapping everyone's phone lines. The drug companies' vaccines don't work. Coffee is addictive. Congress and President Obama want all of your money. Alright, maybe that one is true, but not all conspiracy theories work. So let's take this one apart.

I'll stereotype for a moment.... rich people are amongst the frugal people I know; that's a compliment, so let's skip the angry responses. There are plenty of rich people who do not like to waste their money... spend it on a vacation for which they're getting enjoyment? Yes. But it's all about value for a rich person, frequently even more so than for the chumps. So yes, they don't mind paying a bit more if they're getting a quality education, one that is grounded in the religiousity they seek.

Chumps care about tuition... we get that, I think we can move on.

Now let's talk about the "Strugglers"... I personally look forward to a day when I will no longer be a "struggler". It may take years and it may not happen, but I'm trying to meet that goal.What's interesting is, that a lot of people I've spoken to don't see themselves as poor shnorrers getting tzedaka. Now, sure, they're appreciative of the tzedaka and they recognize that it is tzedaka, but they don't see <i>themselves</i> as poor people. I'm not a psychologist, so I can't delve too far into that... but I imagine it's a psychological thing that people seem themselves as they want, not in a harsh-lighted reality world in which they are taking charity.

I personally see the scholarship not as a given right (which is the way chumps think strugglers view it), but as a helping hand, giving me a chance to pull myself up and stalling the pressures of having too many expenses to survive. I  look forward to paying full tuition, as crazy as that sounds. And with that in mind... it upsets me when tuition is raised. I feel like I get closer to the goal every year to paying full tuition, and they keep moving the goal line farther away. I'm not sure why it takes 12 administrators to run a school. Am I really on scholarship just to pay salaries of administrators? That would upset even the Strugglers, because no one wants to be on scholarship if they don't have to. Do I care if my children get Israeli dance or music classes? Not at all.  And yet... at the same time, I'm not in charge of the school. I'm not sure that anyone cares about my opinion, and I'm sure that every administrator within a 400 mile radius of the Chump blog has heard that the "masses" are angry about paying too much. So why care about my view?

But don't think for a minute that we're okay with increased tuition. Because we're not.

HonestlyFrum heads for the hills? Who is left?

It's a sad day in blog land, people. HonestlyFrum, one of the founding fathers of righteously angry blogging for Bergen County, is considering retirement. Or at least he's coming to grips with a simple reality: you can't save people from themselves. Consider the words in the October 25th post (http://honestlyfrum.blogspot.com/2010/10/moving-forward.html), "In my humble and unfortunate opinion, at this point I do not see anything that can save the charedi community in Israel, and ever growing in America from themselves." I've been a somewhat frequent reader of HF's blog, and as is the case with all bloggers, he had some good moments and some bad moments. I think he is at his best when he reports on some facts, gives some background, and throws in a levelheaded opinion. And in fairness, he does that very very frequently. Occasionally, the disdain reaches a higher pitch and an insult or two slip out, but overall the messaging is good. I'm also an avid reader of the "jewish news" blogs, so I'm caught up on all stories before I hit the HF website and it's good to hear his opinions.

Over the past couple of years, HF has taken on the BC tuition issue in a way never before achieved, and without denigrating any other blogs, HF is still the reigning champion of the issue. It was angry, sure... but that's what moderation of comments is for. It was also frequently enlightening, with issues addressed head-on, discussed, with varying views presented. All that without publishing a single administrator's salary or outing a single scholarship family. I'd love to see HF tackle a lot of different BC issues, starting with why the community continues to mount an "arms race" when it comes to making smachot. I personally will not be able to afford the bar mitzva necessary to "compete" with my son's classmates in a couple of years. Thankfully, my wife and I decided not to even try; we can barely afford something simple. But I do notice that a lot of other people continue to act as if there is no recession. Good for them that they are able to rise above the economic difficulties, but it does spread a bad message to the entire class. I'd love to see HF jump on that issue and a few others as well.

Then one day, the HF blog was silent on BC tuition. And in its place, came the Chump blog. It started off with a bang : "End Scholarship Abuse NOW!"... then "Are Bergen County Yeshiva Teachers Over-Compensated?", and a few posts later, "Ethical Ramifications Of Choosing A Profession Where Your Neighbor Will Likely Have To Subsidize Your Children's Education". And with its comment board afire, it proceeded to burn a path through the Jewish community until it arrived here, just five months later, with no next steps at hand. I find it ironic that the blog's 3rd post is quite similar to its current post: "Consider JFS". I agree... JFS warrants consideration (and I'll address it further in the future), but I think we could have gotten there without the pitchforks, the rifles, and the discussion of salary structures in the yeshivas.

HF... I hope your mood changes, that you continue taking on key issues. Maybe with a little less anger and a little more of an ambivalent, factually-based tone... something that will make you happy you're not born a charedi. As for Chump's blog, take it for what it's worth: a fun read if you enjoy hating on others.

YNJ lifts up the curtain... the community tosses in a grenade.

To really get the benefit of this post, you will need to first read the following blog post, authored by one of the Bergen County communnity activists. I suggest you avoid the comments, unless you are strong of mind and heart.

http://200kchump.blogspot.com/2010/10/rynj-releases-form-990.html


I was overjoyed and dismayed simultaneously this weekend, when I saw the blog post with Yeshiva of North Jersey salary information. This blog post basically outlined the salary structure of the top administrators at YNJ and then left an open-ended forum for people to comment. Apparantly, there is a federal law that requires private schools or I guess charitiies, to reveal how much they're paying top-salaried employees. YNJ complied with this law and filed their latest form, which I guess was then published by the government. I assume this was done legally, but with the government, you never know. Anyway, this blogger got a hold of it, and published the salary information. I was interested in hearing what the blogger had to say about the information, but Chump didn't bother writing anything. I'm not sure you can pull off a Sopranos post where everything fades to black before you actually deliver your opinions and your message, but apparently, this 200 Chump guy can. We will call it poetic license.

Or was it planned? Was the very silence coupled with the opening of the comments section (complete with moderation from Chump) the intention of Chump? You'll note that I call the blogger Chump; that's not intended as an insult, it's the name he or she chose. I'm certainly happy to use this name in this fashion. Was the goal of the post to allow the commentators to come out in full force and bash the school for their high salaries? Mission accomplished. But Chump was able to stay above the fray by minimizing his own individual posts.

As a struggling YNJ parent, let me just say that I was surprised by the amount of money it appears that the administration is making. But I also have heard whispers of what the teachers make, and they should be paid more. If we cut the administration salaries out of fairness, we should apply the savings to the teachers. Of course I would prefer that the school spend their money on my children, not on their administration or teachers, but isn't a dollar spent on teachers a dollar spent on children? At the same time, I think the school does a pretty good job of educating our kids. So I like YNJ... whether I get a break or not. Is there a perception out there that people who get scholarship money are indifferent about the quality, indifferent about the price tag of the school? If the yeshiva gives a scholarship family with two kids a 5,000 dollar break (not uncommon), that's still over 20,000 dollars being paid by the struggling family. And in most cases, the struggling family can barely afford it and certainly the chump is able to handle the price tag better. Woe is the Chump who has to consider cutting his retirement plan contribution to pay tuition, while struggling parents aren't able to put any money away in a retirement plan. Retirement? Ha! Struggling parents are trying to get through another year without having their houses foreclosed on. Struggling parents care about the price tag, we'd like costs cut by 10,000 so that we can spend those funds on equally important things. Look, I'm very grateful for the funding that the Chumps pay that allows tuition to be affordable for me. At the same time, that's the way the yeshivas are run, that some of Chumps tuition covers the less-fortunate. If Chumps don't like the costs, they can leave. It's not much better anywhere else, unless public school appeals to you.

We all care about the costs. It's just hard because it's not right to cut admins salaries either. If you think the job is easy, take the job. Are you not qualitifed? Not enough education? Not enough experience? There is a principal who is 50 years old or more and he's making more than 200,000 and he's the top of his career path. This is upsetting to you? How many of the people who go into chinuch will end up on top of this pyramid? Is 200,000 for the "best" of a profession a lot of money?

The top administrators together aren't costing a million dollars. They each have jobs to do, sure, with vacations during the summer. But what principal isn't working on the school during the summer? How many students does YNJ have? 900? Does a full school year come together with no effort from the administration? How naive of Chumpland. You are the same people who come to a shul function and complain that the event isn't exciting enough, that the food wasn't good enough. But you are definitely not the people who put the event together, because if you were, you'd know that nothing just <b>happens</b>. A school is no different. A lot of work goes into it.

Chump, I get that you're angry and I get that you're frustrated. Your anger probably comes from the price tag and your frustation probably comes from your wife or husband's unwillingness to consider other school options. None of that is our fault. None of that is a scholarship parent's fault or the administration's fault. You need to eliminate your anger and focuse your attention where it belongs: on your spouse. Work on that relationship and find a happy compromise, whether that's YNJ, some other BC school, JFS, or public school.

Let's learn a lesson from the Greeks

With the Yomim Tovim behind us, Chanukah on its way, and the beginning of Yeshiva open houses and yet another year of planning for the kids, I happened upon an article in the most recent issue of Vanity Fair magazine. I should probably note that I never read Vanity Fair, but I was at the dentist. It was the only magazine after the other patients were either reading Time, ESPN, Newsweek, and all of the home and gardening magazines. By the way, a special thank you goes out to all of you patients who take your magazine into the patient rooms at your dentists and doctors and then fail to bring the magazine back out to the main waiting room. Thanks for being an inconsiderate jerk.

I immediately skipped all of the inappropriate pictures of women and found an article by Michael Lewis, a famous author and frequent contributor to the magazine. See the bottom of this post for much more about Mr. Lewis***, but let's move on with this story. The article is "Beware of Greeks Bearing Bonds". That is a play on the popular and more famous expression "Beware of Greeks Bearing Gifts", and the article addresses the economic conditions in Greece. Lewis dives into the financial and govermental culture in Greece to understand why and how Greece got itself into the financial trouble it's in. In particular, he focuses on the overspending, the fraud, people's expectations of a certain quality of life. I recommend you pick up the magazine or at the very least, Google the article and read it in its entirely.

In thinking about this article.... I couldn't help but think about its correlative qualities to our own Bergen County jewish world. Am I just another irresponsible Greek thief? Have I assimilated too far to the Greek way of life, making the very mistakes that the Chashmonaim fought to avoid? I don't think I have, but there is no question in my mind that my children and my family are living a much higher quality of life than my parents did with their children. With the debt I'm carrying and the high quality of life, I'm sure that there are people who look at me and express disgust. Why can't this idiot just get his financial house in order before he spends money the way he does? Where does he come off asking various organizations to subsidize his expensive lifestyle?

I particularly enjoy when I read on other blogs how people have noticed the fancy cars, fancy vacations, big remodeling that others around them have done. My last vacation was paid with points from an old credit card, points that I would have lost if I didn't use them, and they were points that could not be converted into cash. Hotels and Airfare, only. That's not the card I use anymore, but it used to be. So hopefully that goes to dispel yet another crazed myth about the "less fortunate". I'm sure there are 500 more complaints, and I'll look for comments, both positive and negative in the weeks to come.



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*** Mr. Lewis is probably best known for having authored "The Blind Side", a book that ultimately became a top-rated movie in 2009. The movie starred Sandra Bullock and was nominated for Best Picture by the Academy, though it was ultimately defeated by another sensational film, "The Hurt Locker". Ms. Bullock won several awards for her role in the film. While I did love the movie and the book as well, this was actually not my favorite Lewis book. No, Lewis wrote "Liar's Poker", the story of a bond trader/salesman in the late 1980s. Based on Lewis' own experience, it is a particular fascinating and riveting tale and actually mirrored a lot of my same experiences working for a large investment broker during 1998-2000. I recommend it highly, it opens up a window into a world that few understand or have experienced.

A platform for me... and I guess for you too.

As I kick off this blog, I've thought about what I want it to be.

I've seen the various blogs cover topics ranging from the expense of raising children in Bergen County to the shidduch crisis in the 21st century. I think the back-and-forth fighting between the ultra-modern orthodox and the right-wing yeshiva orthodox crowd has been covered ad nausem, and let's face it, nobody was really interested in that in the first place. I even saw a blog that turned our current President into various farm animals, complete with real-life barn sounds. (Respectfully and in a classy manner, no doubt!)

Here's what I haven't seen: a blog that addresses the plight of the struggling families in Bergen County. Or if there is such a blog, then it's not getting the attention it should. My preference is that this blog should be a forum for people to express (in full, bold color) the detail of their stories and the depths of their troubles. My plans to launch this blog were fueled by some of the posts and comments I've seen on other blogs about the Bergen County community.

When I read the viciousness and the biting sarcasm behind some of the posts on other blogs, I wonder if the posters truly understand the magnitude of the financial damage that people like me are in. If they don't, this blog may serve to educate them. If they do and they still make these callous comments, at least we'll have a better window into how far the Jewish community has fallen from previous generations and their generous nature and spirit of togetherness.

We're up and running... I encourage people to share with us their individual stories of difficulty and hardship. For those of you who are comfortable with writing a guest post, that certainly will be an option as well. I will share my own stories of hardship and hopefully, we'll get a better understanding and appreciation of each other.